It always starts with a question. I wonder what…? I wonder what I would be doing if I did not need the money? That paycheck. Did not have to work to pay rent, bills, save up to buy an apartment in the posh neighborhood, or save for retirement. We have all asked ourselves that same question over and over, especially as it relates to the craziness surrounding Lottery drawings. You hear whispers about it in the work cafeteria, corner stores, and random street corners. If they win they will buy this, that and the other. Folks talking about quitting their jobs while the more mature ones claiming they would stick around to keep the benefits.
My wife and I would play that game as well. We would be laying in bed getting ready to sleep and calculating how we would split the money and what portion we would spend and what we would save. The folks we would help out and how we would break the news to our families. Do we tell them over the phone or do we hop on a plane and just tell them in person? At times we would delve into some of the most intricate details and on those occasions, I would believe the fantasy and would be ready to walk into work and tell them “Adios,” but thankfully a good night’s sleep would wake me up from that dream.
I have always considered myself lucky, but believed that there are degrees or levels to luck and I have average luck. Not lucky enough to win the Lottery, but not completely devoid of a bit of the magic that got me to where I am today.
I left my country in my early twenties to attend college in the United States. I was completely sold on the American dream, land of the free, and home of the brave. Luck was on my side and the whole world conspired with me to make the journey across the Atlantic possible.
The how’s and why’s might unravel later on, however what counts in the current context is that I was lucky enough to have been given an opportunity that I could not squander. The goal I had charted for myself was to get a good job that paid well, be able to help my family out, and live a comfortable life. Throughout my twenties and early thirties, I was obsessed with doing just that. Finish college, get a job, and move up the ladder from a student worker to managing my own team at one of the top universities on the planet.
Luck struck a few times along the way, and one of those times was when I met my wife who was just as driven as I was to reach similar goals.
We had done well for ourselves and it was a picture-book life. Husband with a comfortable managerial job at one of the top universities. Wife with a director level position at one of the best hospitals in the U.S. They live in a breathtaking building that used to be a historic hotel on a street that was modeled after the Parisian Champs-Elysées. Life was good and they had reached their destinations.
However, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. I kept wondering about what I would be doing if I did not need to rely on that paycheck. If I took money out of the equation, how would I spend my time? Every time I wondered about this, the first thing I would think about was how I would quit my job. I would sit there thinking about the speech I would give at the usual team meetings.
That question was gnawing at me. If I had no financial responsibilities, what would I be doing? “It’s the question that drives us, Neo.” I remembered Morpheus telling Neo in their first sit-down in The Matrix. I had no answer. I had been so focused on the destination in my life, that when I finally reached it, I was at a loss.
Now what? I had no answer. It also bugged me that in all the different scenarios I thought up, not a single time did I choose to keep my job. The first thing I pictured myself doing was quitting my job. Not taking a vacation to think about it. Not playing it safe and waiting to get the check before announcing to the team that I was quitting.
First thing. Adios! Auf Wiedersehen! Catch you on the flip side!
I even went into all the elaborate details about how I would walk into work and the conversations that would ensue with some individuals that I was not particularly a fan of, yet had to play nice with due to the nature of my job.
I was an IT … Part II next week