Wonder
I was an IT Manager at well recognized university working in their Central Information Technology department, responsible for several teams focused on computer hardware and software deployments and repair. Good job, good pay, nice title. It was a job I was comfortable doing and had been doing for the last four years or so. My parents and family were so proud anytime they were asked about what their son did. Even though they did not really understand what my job was all about, the two words they emphasized to anyone that asked were “Manager” and the university’s name. In their minds there was no difference between someone who actually was admitted and attended that university and someone who simply worked there. When asked, especially when I was back home about my job, I always tried to downplay it as I always hated those parents that would claim their kids are practically running this or that company. How the owner or president himself told them that they couldn’t run the business without those exceptional individuals, only to discover a few moments later that they are fresh graduates and this being their first job.
With the title and prestige of working where I was having faded away after a year or so, the day-to-day drudgery took a hold of me, and the allure and sense of accomplishment dwindled. The last year, it had become a struggle to get out of bed and go to work. I would sit in bed trying to find a reason that forced me to get up and head to the office. I had this or that meeting that I had to attend. The team needed my help and required my presence. The few days that I was mentally able to finagle my way out of things, I ended up taking a day off and heading to a cafe with my laptop, hanging out doing some side projects not related to work.
In all fairness, there were aspects of the job that I really enjoyed, mostly the technical aspects. I had spent some considerable free time writing code to automate package testing and deployment using our Mac configuration management system. I would not label myself a software developer by any stretch but more of a Stack Overflow, an online community for developers, developer. The type of developer that would piece together a script by copying and pasting relevant answers found in Stack Overflow. I had gotten my Computer Science degree ten years back and was familiar with the general computing concepts, however, writing code did not come naturally to me and I despised it while in college. Part of the issue was that at the time, Computer Science courses were taught using the C++ computer language and I would not be going out on a limb in saying that C++ is not a good language to introduce people to programming.
On the non-technical side, I cared about the people on the team, took pride in seeing them succeed, and receiving promotions even though staff promotions in higher education are few and far between. As rare as those occasions were, I did feel tremendous joy, building small teams, to implement a vision or a solution I had.
That reminded me of the question posed to me on several occasions throughout my career: “Managerial or technical track?” I did not want to choose. I enjoyed doing both as long as they were balanced in their time commitment. I liked the break managerial tasks afforded me from some of the frustrating technical issues faced at times and also realized on several occasions that what appeared to be a technical problem at first, was nothing more than a quick one-on-one discussion away from being resolved. I also took great pleasure in charting out a vision for the team and spent a lot of time technically prototyping and leading the implementation of said vision. Additionally, I had this sense that the future of work required a combination of specialists led by well rounded individuals versed in the technical and managerial aspects of the work itself. While I did not want to choose, the choice ended up being made for me, in my last job.
A year prior, the central Information Technology department at the university, under new leadership, was undergoing what they termed a “transformation.” In reality, it was simply a reorganization with a few sprinkles on top. Lipstick on a pig. A team would be rendered obsolete or combined with another one, along with introducing snacks to the kitchen. A cartoonist was added to the communications team, yet the environment was devoid of humor. “Listening tours” were organized, but no one was listening. Folks were forced to attend mandatory agile training, and the processes were getting stiffer. The cherry on top was that it was all managed through one of the most advanced technical solutions, an Excel spreadsheet. While the reorganization was necessary, a lot of us had serious concerns about how it was being implemented. Ultimately, it led to the department losing some good people.
On a personal level and overnight, my team doubled in size. What made it challenging was not the additional number of people, but the different “lines of business” introduced. From an organizational standpoint, it might have made sense to combine the groups under one umbrella, however from my personal perspective, it was a disaster.
Prior to the reorganization, I had concluded that I wanted out of my job and was starting to spend time on learning Python, a popular programming language. I had stitched together code to automate software deployment and testing in our Mac configuration platform, and was infected by the programming bug to a certain degree. I enjoyed having this ability to create something as opposed to having to wait for a vendor or someone to provide a solution to a problem I encountered. By being able to write my own code, I now had the ability to create something myself to solve a problem I was facing. I could scratch my own itch. I don’t know whether I would go so far as labeling programming art like painting or making music, but there is something to be said for creating something as opposed to simply consuming it and I was hooked at a basic level.
During that time too, I happened to be re-reading Lawrence Lessig’s book, Code is Law, which had previously left quite a strong impression on me. I was sold on the notion that code is law, code is design, and thus it can all be coded. Additionally, it solidified my resolve that in order to survive in this extremely fast evolving information technology world, learning how to code is a mandatory skill.
I had decided that a job transition was necessary as I no longer saw a future in the job I had and I was unhappy. The reorganization catalyzed my resolve and made me focus on plotting my escape. The politics, the double standards, the lying, was too much for my taste. I understood that the higher up you get, there was a bit more politicking involved, but it became all consuming and I lost the love for the job. I enjoyed the team and some of the challenges, but I was spending most of my time in meetings and having to participate in things I did not believe in and was not on board for. The hypocrisy of it all was that most people felt the same as I did, but they either played along because they had no other choice and were waiting it out, or the shrewdest of the bunch were trying to make the best of it for themselves by taking advantage of the situation to move up the ladder. The view I have always taken was that as long as I was doing something I enjoyed and I was being challenged, who does the ribbon cutting or takes all the credit was the least of my concerns.
I was in endpoint management and I could see how a lot of the work we were doing would either be outsourced or made obsolete in the next five to ten years. I looked at my team and if I was lucky in five more years, only a fourth of the team would have a place after another reorganization given the changes that I expect in technology in that space. If it was currently difficult for someone in their fifties to find a job in technology, I don’t believe that it will get easier five or ten years from now, especially with non-relevant skills. I was in my late thirties and would picture myself in my fifties sitting in a small windowless room with a whiteboard on one of the walls being interviewed by someone in one of those t-shirts they give away at conferences, half my age, and I would be telling stories about how we did things back in the day before this or that technology was invented.
Apart from the fact that I saw the writing on the wall about the slow extinction of the lines of business I was responsible for, I felt that the nature of work itself was slowly shifting. Back in the early days, Hollywood studios used to have actors on contract. So when a new movie project was in the works, they would do their casting based on the actors under contract instead of what actor was right for the role. A casting director in New York changed the game starting with TV by picking the actor most appropriate for the role. Will that same attitude transform the nature of IT jobs? Instead of using full-time employees for a project, could teams be formed around a specific project and soon thereafter be disbanded once the project was complete?
Rent an IT Rockstar!
Adding to my concern, some higher education positions do not easily translate into corporate positions. Information Technology in higher education is atypical when compared to corporate environments. Departments have to accommodate and deal with multiple environments and client needs under the university umbrella. One environment that is closest to what corporate IT folks deal with is the administrative side of the university. It is a controlled and managed environment that administrative staff operate in. Another environment is the one that faculty reside in. While faculty are staff, they need to be allowed the freedom to operate especially if they are doing any experimental or cutting-edge research. They also interact a lot with administrative staff and thus need to be able to float around between environments. Last but not least, there is the student environment, dorm environment, and guest environment. There is also added complexity to all those hybrid environments due to the fact that people can wear multiple hats and need to be able to float between environments flawlessly.
In that vein, I could not simply go to LinkedIn or Google and search for openings using my job title. I do not even believe my job title existed at other universities, which troubled me even more. I would have to look for jobs that required certain skills that I had, but there was never an exact match. I wanted to have transferable tech skills that would provide me the flexibility of working from anywhere. In the back of my mind, my parents back home were getting older, and I wanted to have the flexibility of working remotely for extended periods of time in order to be around them.
Having seen that bleak picture and spending some time haunted by the image of me at fifty out of a job and looking for employment, I decided that I had to save myself from the future I was envisioning. You know how sometimes you are so obsessed and afraid of something happening that it eventually becomes reality? I think that your obsession and fear indirectly lead you to that point that you have always dreaded and I wanted to make sure that this did not become my reality.
This was when the question became more about how I was going to switch careers into something I actually enjoyed. That was where my sense of wonder about what I would be doing if I had won the lottery was born out of. It was not necessarily about the money, even though I would not say no to it, and more about a hypothetical situation I liked to imagine where money was no object. Rise and shine to do what? What did I enjoy doing and, more practically, how could I transfer my skills and experience into a new role?
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